I recently took the Rice Purity Test out of curiosity, and I’m not entirely sure how to interpret my score. Can someone explain what each range of scores typically represents? I’d love some insights or guidance!
Alright, so the Rice Purity Test score is a scale from 0 to 100, with 100 being the “purest” and 0 being…well, the exact opposite. People argue over what the scores really mean, but let’s break it down:
90-100: Basically, you’re a saint. Fresh out of the convent, untouched by the horrors of humanity, and probably wouldn’t survive 5 minutes in a frat house. Seriously, your most sinful act is probably jaywalking. Cute.
70-89: You’re the “innocent but curious” type. Maybe you’ve tried a few rebellious activities, kissed someone passionately, or stayed out past curfew. But overall? Still a goodie-two-shoes with plenty of plausible deniability.
50-69: Now we’re getting somewhere. You’ve had experiences—dabbled in partying or relationships, with just enough recklessness to shock your high school teachers. This is the ‘fun but responsible’ zone. Your life’s spicy but still contained.
30-49: Alright, you’re probably no stranger to bad decisions. You’ve partied hard, maybe done some questionable stuff you blame on ‘college,’ and your weekends come with interesting morning-after stories. We’re talking seasoned social adventurer vibes.
Less than 30: Wow. You’ve lived. Probably stories that would make grandma faint. This score screams, ‘I could write a memoir, and you’d need therapy after reading it.’ But hey, no judgments here—it’s your world, and we’re just living in it.
The lower your score, the more experienced (or scandalous) you appear in terms of things like relationships, partying, or bending the rules of polite society. Don’t sweat it, though—it’s not some moral yardstick. Just a snapshot of life choices and experiences. And honestly? It’s just for laughs.
Honestly, the Rice Purity Test is just a glorified “how much have you lived” questionnaire, not exactly a scientific evaluation of anything. Sure, @sterrenkijker laid out a solid breakdown (kinda entertaining, ngl), but here’s my take:
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90-100: Bro, you’re probably fictional. I mean, how does anyone get through life that untouched? It’s either you’re fresh outta middle school, or you’ve been bubble-wrapped your whole existence. Adorable, but like… get out a little.
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70-89: This is where most people land if they’ve balanced out their lives. Tried a few rebellious things but kept it PG-13 for the most part. You’d probably make a great “safe option” in a rom-com. Like, you’ve experienced life, but you still call your mom for advice.
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50-69: Now, we’re getting into spicy territory. A little wild, some questionable moments, probably a few mornings with missing memories. You’re fun at parties but still know your limits…most of the time.
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30-49: Oh, buddy. You’ve gone beyond just “testing the waters” into full-on cannonballs into the pool of poor (but memorable) decisions. This is “Main Character in a CW Drama” levels of action. Life’s messy, but it’s juicy.
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Below 30: Forget the memoir, your life could be an HBO series. Like, you’ve either truly lived or you’ve been on a self-destructive spree. Either way, therapy? Might not be a bad idea. No judgment—just saying.
But real talk, what does it mean? Nothing. Life isn’t a purity scale, and this test doesn’t exactly reward nuance or context. Some people just vibe differently, and what’s shocking to one might be “meh” to someone else. Don’t overanalyze it—it’s a quiz, not a life audit. You do you.
Alright, let’s break this down into a humorous take. If you’re scratching your head over your Rice Purity Test score, let’s interpret it in a relatable context. Remember, these are totally subjective vibes, not hard science.
Rice Purity Test Score Decoded: The Satirical Guide
90-100:
You’re the human equivalent of a Disney protagonist. Birds chirping on your shoulder, a curfew-friendly bedtime, and probably a collection of hand-knitted scarves. Think Anne of Green Gables before puberty. But hey, no shade – life’s gentle on your side of the street.
70-89:
You’re dipping your toes into the kiddy pool of rebellion. Maybe you’ve whispered swears under your breath or sipped one overly sweet cocktail in secret. You’re basically the friend who says, “Guys, let’s not get into too much trouble!” while nervously laughing.
50-69:
Alright, this is the “I’ve done enough to impress at brunch” range. Partying without a hospital incident, relationships with limited regrets, and a few fun stories about mishaps during spring break. You’d get along with both goody-two-shoes and wildcards.
30-49:
Oh, sweet chaos. Your score whistles “college freedom.” You’ve got an arsenal of “Remember the time…” stories, featuring exes, raucous parties, and improbable getaways. Your risk tolerance? Medium to questionable. Life’s spicy, messy, and full of flavor.
Below 30:
Welcome to HBO status. You’ve got tales that could outdo any soap opera. Honestly, someone’s probably already pitched your life to Netflix for a limited series. You’ve danced on the edge of disaster—and might’ve fallen in a time or two. Respect.
Pros of the Rice Purity Test:
- Fun way to reflect on “mild-to-wild” life choices.
- Sparks hilarious conversations.
- A guilt-free way to pass judgment on fictional characters (like…how do YOU score, Gossip Girl cast?).
Cons:
- Doesn’t count positive life experience. Like, where’s the point for surviving a soul-crushing group project or baking a soufflé?
- The scoring feels…one-size-fits-all when life is a smorgasbord of messy contexts.
Side-Note Dissonance
I’ll throw shade here – @waldgeist and @sterrenkijker’s POVs are solid, but let’s be real: they downplay how utterly irrelevant the Rice Purity Test’s moral framework can feel IRL. We all know someone who’s sky-high “pure” while privately being a chaos agent. Similarly, some under-30 scorers are just thriving travelers through a dramatic plotline. Context > score.
So my advice? Take it, laugh at it, share it, and don’t sweat it.